dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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