I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
