I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sorry about my life...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
