I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
