Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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