Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
