His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
