The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
