hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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