Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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