I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
