Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize