see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
