Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
