i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
