We're like a lot better than the average bears
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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