well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
