i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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