So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
