Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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