But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
