Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
whose parrot is this?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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