Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i out mim tonsoeep
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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