I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
