I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
