I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
