that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
