I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
