i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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