My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
