What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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