was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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