I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I need moral support for this bender
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
