So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
