So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
