Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
