yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
