yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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