I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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