So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you still have your period?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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