I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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