So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
