You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
