just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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