You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
