Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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