just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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