Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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