Kiss
Puke
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
