sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
