Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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