it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
