I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
