Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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