UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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