you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
