So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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