I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
