I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
