Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
