giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
